The Collected Novels Volume Two by Fay Weldon

Author:Fay Weldon
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Open Road Media
Published: 2017-07-27T00:00:00+00:00

17

DURING THAT MORNING ERIC Stenstrom himself called Alexandra. “Alexandra,” he said in his throaty voice, “my dear. How are you?”

“I’m okay,” she said. “I suppose.”

“I hear all kinds of things are coming to light,” he said. “Things do when people die. When AIDS took my Petrie people turned up at his funeral and told me things I would rather not know. I sympathise. But now Ned’s dead, does it matter? He can do you no more wrong. That’s what I felt like when Petrie died.”

“It seems to matter,” said Alexandra. “A great deal. I am either who I thought I was, or not. In the end it is important to apportion blame. There must be a day of judgement. No Court will do it now, so I must sort it out myself.”

“At least all Petrie left me was herpes,” said Eric. “I’m not HIV positive. He spared me that. If I can forgive your husband, so can you. He complained about my tights when I was playing Oberon at the National. He said they were too small. What sort of theatrical criticism was that?”

“Ned’s sort,” said Alexandra. “And I am not talking about forgiveness. There is no such thing. It may seem easier to appease, or self-interest intervenes and one chooses to forget. Or time does it for you. But that’s all. Eric, there is a rumour going round down here that I’m having an affair with you.”

“If only you were, darling,” said Eric. “If only I was other, I’m sure we would be. And we did try once, don’t you remember, for the sake of my career? It was before I met Petrie, and fell in love.”

“We were both drunk,” said Alexandra. “Ned was away in Norway. Hollywood wanted us, as a team, for the re-make of Gone With the Wind. We were good together, they thought. Six years ago. What were we playing?”

“A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream,” said Eric. “You were Titania. This was our big Hollywood break.”

“We thought we’d be turned down,” said Alexandra, “because the producer was insisting on a heterosexual cast. And the attempt failed anyway so there was nothing to report. And Hollywood melted away, as it always does. For me, that is, not you. But I would rather that occasion wasn’t bandied about. You never mentioned it to anyone, did you?”

“What, mentioned my shame?” asked Eric Stenstrom. “Why should I do a thing like that?”

“You did, didn’t you!” said Alexandra.

“I tried once again with a woman,” said Eric, “and it worked. I may have mentioned the earlier attempt to her. It would have seemed only fair. We were quite close for a time. But it was a long way back. I can’t really remember.”

“Who was she?”

“Some little set designer. She made models. She wasn’t powerful like you: not a strong woman. She looked kind and she looked female and she looked like she didn’t matter. But when it came to it, it wasn’t any fun. I couldn’t face a straight future. I went back to Petrie.

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